brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
