yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
