Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
