Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
