I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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