Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
