i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no, he came in my armpit
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
