oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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