moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
