She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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