addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
