Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
