How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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