i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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