I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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