How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
