i already hear my dad disowning me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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