What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
