I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
