I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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