how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's the barista slut.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
