i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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