Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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