How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you had me at cake vodka
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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