If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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