I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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