So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
one two three fourrrrnication!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
