i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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