So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
be right there i have to get my cape
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
