Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
