Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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