A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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