Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
