you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
