don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
