my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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