i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
