dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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