no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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