I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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