Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize