My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
