woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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