when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everclear isn't food dammit
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
