Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
