i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
