the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You may now shotgun with the bride
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
