a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
