My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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