It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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