It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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