plz talk dirty to me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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