Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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