you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
