I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize