so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
