At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
