What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
