I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
