What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
